Seems to me that you kinda pushed him into it at the end. Certainly didn't try to help him have an easy and fun and worry-free time on Halloween. And dressing up is the main focus of this holiday?? Wow, guess I'm out of touch. I'm also guessing you don't really care whether this kid has a male role-model in his life, but I suppose that's not really needed to give a child a good start in life - and I suppose you might be perfectly fine in not trying to make sure he has one.
Seems to me you're more concerned with pushing your own high-and-mighty social change agenda than you are with the well-being of your kid. But then again, I guess I could be wrong. Either way I'm fairly certain you'll never admit to possibly being wrong. To stuck up on your "I'm the victim" and "I'll do anything I want to my child and society can't say anything!"
I just feel a bit sad for the kid for sooner or later possibly getting a mighty rough awakening when he hits the real world. Or maybe he'll just live in a happy bubble surrounded by pleasant, caring, nurturing females his entire life. No wonder he'll imitate the only thing he comes into contact with.
Edit: Forgot to mention that the mom had a good point about the little girl in a Batman outfit - nobody would have cared. Here's the deal - life isn't fair. Set your kid up for success as much as you can - or if you prefer, use him as your own personal tool to break down society's barriers. But maybe you should wait until he's 18 and ask him politely, then he can either say "Sure Mom, that'd be fine" or "Hell no Mom - don't involve me in your social agenda crusade."
Edit 2: You post on the internet about something almost controversial. People support you. People attack you. Oh well. I post on the internet. People support me. People attack me. The mom got what she wanted - the attention, the reassurance and the catharsis from writing about what you experience. Good for her, I'm thinking she should be rather satisfied with how the whole thing worked out - but I'm guessing she's not since a few people didn't agree with her. So now she's upset. Booo-hooo.
"It is obvious that I neither abuse nor neglect my children."Hmmm, after thinking a bit more, I'm guessing this is a lot less of a big deal than most people (including me, initially) made of it. It's just a kid, who wanted to dress up. Doesn't mean he's gonna be gay, or get beat up and bullied in middle/high school. The moms who jumped all over this were definitely wrong to do so. The mom who let her son - and then sort of pushed (?) her son - into doing this is not definitely wrong. Also not definitely right. I'm fairly certain she's not abusing her child. I'm not certain she's not neglecting his welfare when she's publishing pictures of him that may COME BACK TO HAUNT HIM, but not her. Let's say he grows out of this, and is just a normal kid wanting to be the football team star with the girlfriend and the friends and some mean people start dragging this up. Not fun for him. But I guess that's trumped by his mom's need several years earlier (i.e., now) to get this heavy heavy weight off her chest. Hint: it's not a heavy weight, and No - your 'want' now does not trump his 'need' later.
So - abuse? No. Neglect? Entirely possible.